"everything fair in love and war"

so accustomed are we to this cliche, that we barely ever stop look at it critically, or verify its validity. in order to decide how sound this phrase is in its logic and practicality, let us first look at the term 'fair'. the dictionary defines 'fair' as an exact following of a standard of what is right and proper'. in fact, being fair involves doing things that are ethical and just, rather than things that are correct according to the law. in any situations, ethical issues are bound to arise, and whenever such ethical issues arise, actions can be categorized as either ethical or unethical, and hence fair or unfair. is it then possible for everything to be fair under any circumstances? i think not.

first, let's analyze whether any action one undertakes when he or she in love can be described as fair or ethical. suppose a man, due to his blind love for his wife, agrees to be her accomplice in committing a murder. under such circumstances, is killing fair? think of a boy who helps to cover up the fact that a girl is selling drugs to teenagers because he is desperately in love with her. are the boy's actions then ethical because he is doing everything out of love for the girl? assume a girl, in her eagerness to get the boy she loves, takes the shelter of lies in order to break the boy's relationship with another girl. does the fact that the former girl is in love whit the boy justify her lies? more often than nor, treacheries and mistakes cannot be excused only because done out of love does not make the actions ethical or fair. then, on what basis should we say that everything is fair in love?

now, think of wars. bloodshed, torture, treachery, injustice - these are the words that come to my mind when i think of wars. these are things that define wars. war itself has everything to do with unfairness. how is then everything in a war fair? a soldier holds an innocent child as hostage during the war. is that fair? a man is forced to abandon his country of birth due to a war. is that fair? no matter how much u look for it, i am sure you will not find any reasons that justify these actions. it is therefore impossible for everything to be fair in a war? one can always argue that since there are no rules during wars, everything can be regarded as right, and hence, everything can be perceived as fair. this logic is only applicable if one defines fair actions as actions that comply with laws and regulations rather than actions that can be described as being ethical. also, one can argue that since the actions are not judged at all, it can be defined as fair. although this ironic logic may be used to win a debate, it is based on the weak foundation that anything that is not unfair, and hence, it is logic considerably questionable.

there will never be any such situations where everything is fair and ethical. the statement: "everything is fair in love and war" is therefore an obsolete cliche by using which people attempt to justify acts for which they can summon no other reason or justification.

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taken from a note someone gave me days ago